Dead Inside

  Mental health is a crucial aspect of overall wellbeing that is often overlooked or stigmatized in our society. However, the reality is that mental health struggles affect a significant portion of the population, and the impact can be devastating. It's not always visible, but mental health conditions can be just as debilitating as physical illnesses, and they can significantly impact a person's ability to function in their daily life. One of the most challenging aspects of living with mental health struggles is the unpredictability of it all. One day, you might wake up feeling like you can conquer the world, and the next, you might struggle to get out of bed. This inconsistency can be incredibly frustrating, and it can be challenging to explain to others why you can't always be your best self. Many people who struggle with mental health conditions describe feeling like they are living two different lives. One life is the one they present to the world, where they smile and ...

This is a question I’m still finding the answers to. Having suffered with my mental health issues for a while now, I have dealt with quite a few situations where I landed up spiralling ( for those who don’t know, spiralling is when I land up in a situation or where a series of events lead up to a breaking point where I start spiralling in my thoughts and if I don’t stop the spiral, it leads to suicidal thoughts ). Recently I landed up in such a situation where I had gone through a few dark days and then had one day that had a series of events that occurred, which coupled with the nights filled with anxiety dreams ( anxiety dreams keep you in fight or flight mode even during your sleep and I tend to wake up shaking and very on edge the next day ), pretty much put me at a breaking point to where I never knew what I would do next. Then I had one more event that occurred where I was trying to do something for myself to put myself in a better space and that didn’t go well either. This lea...

The question I get whenever I tell my family and friends, that I either struggled to fall asleep or didn`t sleep at all is why? The dreaded question of WHY?? I mean it`s a simple question but the answer is so damned complicated. How do I tell them that, most nights, I go to bed tired at a reasonable time, I lay in bed and close my eyes. However instead of drifting off to sleep, like most people do, my mind is far more awake than before.  My mind has a way of bringing fourth every mistake I have ever made, any regrets I have ever had, any choices that I wish had panned out differently, all these plus so much more. How am I supposed to fall asleep when my mind is showing me every scenario ranging from things that have gone wrong to things that could go wrong.  Now I know there are people out there who know what I'm going through, simply because they are going through it themselves. but how do I explain it to those who have no idea what it`s like to deal with this. I mean at this...